It\u2019s that time of year when friends and families gather together to celebrate all that they have. Facebook and Instagram feeds blow up with hashtags like #Thankful, #Grateful and #Blessed. We focus on silver linings and bask in the light and warmth of bright sides.<\/p>\n
I am a huge fan of gratitude, be it on Thanksgiving or any old regular day. I wholeheartedly subscribe to the notion that regularly experiencing gratitude improves one\u2019s internal emotional quality of life, as well as one\u2019s physical health. But sometimes I wonder if the push towards gratitude and \u201cpositive thinking\u201d is incompatible with the messiness of life. As humans, we tend toward binary thinking- people are either good or bad, decisions are right or wrong, feelings are happy or sad.<\/p>\n
We are grateful or we are unappreciative.<\/p>\n
Throughout the last 11 years of living with this progressively debilitating disease, I have learned that I can actually hold multiple opposing feelings in one hand. I don\u2019t have to choose one over the other.<\/p>\n
I am grateful that this disease has allowed me to evolve psychologically and spiritually and I hate that I have to have this disease at all.<\/p>\n
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I am so grateful to have a disease that is not killing me and I hate that I have a disease that is slowly killing all of my muscles.<\/p>\n
I am grateful to have a disease that does not require any therapeutic surgical or toxic pharmaceutical interventions and I hate that there is still not one FDA approved treatment or cure.<\/p>\n
I am grateful to have a physical disability for which there are now so many assistive\/adaptive devices and I hate that these same devices require extra time, extra money, extra upper body physical strength and a high tolerance for blisters and physical discomfort.<\/p>\n
I am grateful that my disease is progressing in an age when there is access to a variety of electric scooters and wheelchairs and I hate that the vast majority of office buildings, shops, restaurants and doctors\u2019 offices (!) make it almost impossible to enter or exit independently while using one.<\/p>\n
I am so grateful that last weekend I got to experience the majestic magnificence that is Yosemite National Park with our good friends and I hate that I didn\u2019t get to climb over boulders towards the waterfall with everyone else.<\/p>\n
I am grateful to be able to swim in the ocean where I can feel truly free and be reunited with my pre-disease self and I hate the treacherous and often injurious journey required for me to get there.<\/p>\n
I am grateful to be a mother of two wonderful children and I hate how limiting and inconvenient my disease can be for them.<\/p>\n
I am beyond grateful that I am married to a man who is truly my best friend and soulmate and who would do anything for me and I hate all of the hardship my disability puts on him and the damper it puts on our (my) fantasies for the future.<\/p>\n
I am so very grateful for the love and compassion from all of my family and friends who continue to travel with me on this journey and I hate that this is the journey they have to accompany me on.<\/p>\n
I am grateful that I have learned to make room for all of the feelings. It is the only way for me to feel truly fulfilled and at peace.<\/p>\n
I wish for everyone a meaningful holiday today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s that time of year when friends and families gather together to celebrate all that they have. Facebook and Instagram feeds blow up with hashtags like #Thankful, #Grateful and #Blessed. We focus on silver linings and bask in the light and warmth of bright sides. I am a huge fan of gratitude, be it on<\/p>\n