{"id":348,"date":"2017-08-22T18:54:29","date_gmt":"2017-08-23T01:54:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=348"},"modified":"2017-11-18T15:07:18","modified_gmt":"2017-11-18T23:07:18","slug":"i-feel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=348","title":{"rendered":"I feel"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I feel sad. I feel deflated. I feel disheartened. I feel angry. I feel betrayed. I feel frustrated. I feel helpless. I feel overwhelmed. I feel rage. I feel tired. I feel drained. I feel exhausted. I feel scared. I feel terrified. I feel desperate.<\/p>\n<p>While innocently scrolling through Facebook during my older son&#8217;s High Holiday choir practice just minutes ago, I was ambushed by an article announcing that Ultragenyx Pharmaceutical is terminating the development of the drug ACE-ER because phase 3 clinical trials failed to demonstrate significant improvement in muscle strength. They&#8217;ve been at it for years. Ultragenyx&#8217;s mission is to develop drugs for rare and ultra-rare diseases.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>So many patients world-wide invested so many hopes in this trial. This was going to be the first drug to come to market for us. This was supposed to work. The science was there. The commitment and resources were there. The dedication to the cause was there. And yet, we are here. I am here. In this ugly moment.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We are disappointed by these results, as we had hoped that Ace-ER would offer a new option for GNEM patients. We would like to thank the patients, caregivers, and investigators involved in the Ace-ER development program,\u201d said Emil D. Kakkis, M.D., Ph.D., Chief Executive Officer and President of Ultragenyx.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I am well aware that this is how it goes. This is the process. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>I am grateful to Dr. Kakkis and his team for investing in us. And even for the conference room named after me. That part was neat.<\/p>\n<p>I wish it could have worked. I wish I weren&#8217;t sitting here in the back of the sanctuary quietly crying. I wish I didn&#8217;t have to mourn yet another loss.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I feel sad. I feel deflated. I feel disheartened. I feel angry. I feel betrayed. I feel frustrated. I feel helpless. I feel overwhelmed. I feel rage. I feel tired. I feel drained. I feel exhausted. I feel scared. I feel terrified. I feel desperate. While innocently scrolling through Facebook during my older son&#8217;s High<\/p>\n<div><a class=\"btn-filled btn\" href=\"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=348\" title=\"I feel\">Read More<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":425,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/chroma.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5aYbC-5C","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":186,"url":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=186","url_meta":{"origin":348,"position":0},"title":"Chapter 14: The 9.5 Year Phase","author":"admin","date":"July 31, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Wouldn't that be so nice? If there were actually an entire textbook dedicated to HIBM? One with an index where I could look up what to expect a year, two years or 10 years from disease onset? With chapters like, \"How Much Exercise is Okay?\" Or, \"What is the Role\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/chroma.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/chroma.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/chroma.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/chroma.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20,"url":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=20","url_meta":{"origin":348,"position":1},"title":"Rare","author":"admin","date":"February 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Today marks the 6th international Rare Disease Day, a day dedicated to raising awareness of rare diseases among patients, non-patients and the scientific community. It is a day that would never have been on my radar had I not been diagnosed with HIBM\u00a0almost 7 years ago.\u00a0\u00a0I spent some time thinking\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/beach.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/beach.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/beach.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/beach.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":35,"url":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=35","url_meta":{"origin":348,"position":2},"title":"Just ask me.","author":"admin","date":"July 6, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A couple of days ago, I asked my four year old son if he wanted to come change his baby brother's diaper with me. As I slowly made my way over to the changing table, he ran (as he often does, because everything seems to be a competition these days)\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 2 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 2 comments","link":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=35#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/wall.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/wall.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/wall.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/wall.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":236,"url":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=236","url_meta":{"origin":348,"position":3},"title":"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice.","author":"admin","date":"February 15, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm coming up on 10 years of knowingly living with this disease. An entire decade. One fourth of my life. Throughout these past 10 years, I have mourned losses, adjusted to new baselines, adapted new ways of coping, advocated on behalf of patients and invested a tremendous amount of emotional\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/sail.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/sail.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/sail.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/sail.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17,"url":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=17","url_meta":{"origin":348,"position":4},"title":"Dedicated to the one I love&#8230;","author":"admin","date":"June 16, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Recently my sister told me that someone who saw me speak at the last fundraiser thought I was \"amazing.\" She then told me that this person said my husband was even more amazing. I wondered how he knew that without even knowing or talking to my husband, because of course,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/flowers.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/flowers.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/flowers.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/flowers.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":169,"url":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/?p=169","url_meta":{"origin":348,"position":5},"title":"What goes up must come down","author":"admin","date":"June 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I've had a good few months. Like, really good. If you've hung out with me lately, you've probably had the fleeting thought of, \"Um, is Jen on stimulants?\" As in, I've been talking fast and thinking fast- what I jokingly refer to as feeling \"high on life.\" And though the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/balls.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/balls.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/balls.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/livingwithhibm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/balls.jpg?fit=730%2C350&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=348"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":431,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions\/431"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/425"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithhibm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}