This week was one of those weeks when I was made acutely aware of the fact that most people in the world-or at least, in my world in West Los Angeles- are not disabled. And as such, most people just don’t get what it’s like to not have their body function as it normally “should.”And therefore, they sometimes simply are not able to put themselves in my shoes or worse, not willing to even learn more about what it may be like to try to walk for a day in my shoes. Because I imagine if they were able to do so, then experiences like the one I had this week wouldn’t be so painful.
That was really hard.
We were invited to my uncle’s house for shabbat dinner tonight. My husband Noah couldn’t go because he had his holiday party for Kaiser at the same time (doctor’s and nurses only). My dad was also going to my uncle’s and together we decided he would come over early so we could drive together, mostly because I was concerned about coming home alone with both boys and getting them both inside safely.
Read more “Reality check”
This last month has been tough. I have literally been sick with one cold after another for what has felt like an eternity. And though, like most people, I’ve never enjoyed being under the weather, ever since being diagnosed with HIBM, being sick or suffering some sort of physical discomfort has taken on a whole new meaning.
In the old days, pre-HIBM, being sick meant feeling temporarily miserable. It was an annoying interruption in my day-to-day routine, but nothing that I ever really spent too muh time worrying about. Sure, it was frustrating not getting to the gym, but I could force myself to enjoy the down time and even the side benefit of not having an appetite and maybe losing a few pounds. Most of all, I could look forward to when I would feel healthy again and get on with my life.
A couple of days ago, I asked my four year old son if he wanted to come change his baby brother’s diaper with me. As I slowly made my way over to the changing table, he ran (as he often does, because everything seems to be a competition these days) and arrived there first, stating, “I won Mommy! I’m faster than you. You’re slow. You wear leg braces.” Read more “Just ask me.”
I have never blogged before. Maybe because it felt exhibitionistic or maybe because doing so presumes people will be interested in what I have to say. But recently, I have felt a need, an urgent and desperate need to express myself- to share what’s going on with me and my body, to help people understand what it’s like to live with a progressively debilitating disease and ultimately, to help raise awareness and call attention to this orphan disease. The truth is, hardly anyone even knows the name of this disease that I suffer with every day. Read more “It’s My Birthday”